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THE BOOK on AMAZON, AMAZON.fr, AMAZON.ca

This is the book David cared so much about writing. Bringing it to fruition was the passionate focus of much of our time, exploration, and thought the last many years of David’s life and was an honor for me to see through to completion. Within it holds David’s and my endearing understanding of human relationships and our devotion to contributing to a more loving world, comprised of more compassionate, self-secure, self-realized people.

A huge shoutout to Palmer-Daniels-trained Eric Salmon of Le Centre d’Études de l’Ennéagramme for his Enneagram-savvy editing and due diligence in the book having been published in 2022 by Granger Publishing for Enneagram-enthusiast Francophones worldwide.

The Enneagram, Relationships and Intimacy —
in English >> in French >>

WHAT IS "OUR WORK" ABOUT, REALLY?

Well-being development for self-healing humans. Honoring the call to come home.

Our relationship to ourselves, that’s where it’s at. I have come to believe there is nothing more important. Because, our relationship to ourselves is what determines all else, including any and all of the relationships we will allow, pursue, or hope to cultivate with others. What is this “relationship to ourselves” about, really? It’s about that ache inside when we’re disconnected from self and the bliss inside when we’re not [disconnected]. This ‘work’ is the how-to of that innately spiritual call, the one wanting us to return home — to self, to the self that knows its own light and its divine bliss. Home to the self that embodies its inherent worthiness and that starves for its own presence.

This is the work of getting there, of an experience of self built on far more inner-connection and far less compulsion. This is self-awareness over habit, self-assessment over dependency, and self-compassion over shame. This work is about radical self-honesty and a fascination for self-witnessing. This is about genuine self-connecting, that which liberates us from so much self-induced and unnecessary human suffering, intrapersonal struggle, and crazy-making disconnect.

Sound like a plan? I promise it will be worth it!

WHY LEARN THE ENNEAGRAM? | PDF

COACHING
INDIVIDUALS

The Enneagram for self-knowing self-compassion, emotional regulation, & personal development.

COACHING
RELATIONSHIPS

The Enneagram for self- & other understanding, conflict resolution, parenting, & compassion-buiidng.

WORKSHOPS &
FACILITATION

The Enneagram for a multitude of applications, focused teachings, and customized programs.

ENNEAGRAM
TYPING

One of my favorite things to do. A discovery interview to help you self-assess your Enneagram type.

MY TAKE

The Enneagram is one great map. Compassion is the way.

You may have heard me whinge about the name, “Enneagram,” as its many homonyms akin to “candygram” and “telegram” are miles and miles from its vast wisdom. “Ennea” means nine in Greek, “gramma” refers to a drawing or diagram — so hence the name and it stuck. A sacred nine-pointed geometric figure, “the Enneagram” symbol itself is an extraordinary visual representation of how non-randomly, highly ordered is the interwoven character development of human beings, that which comprise our across-evolution surviving “tribe.” The mankind tribe. It’s no accident we’ve made it this far. As in all of nature, something really intelligent is going on and we are nothing short of a miraculous, cosmic slash scientific phenomenon.

As my my years of study have continued, I have come to understand that our developmental pathways are not random but are instead immeasurably brilliant, intelligently organized, and intricately coordinated. We’ve been designed for survival, temperament by temperament, priority by priority, with each of us, in our own systemic way, contributing to a greater “‘whole.” We have developed collectively to ensure we have all the survival bases covered, the “what’s needed” for our kind gets covered, if not by one of us, by another.

We come loaded with varying talents that are organized by two driving priorities: The need to self-protect and the need to be loved. We are either warding off threat or pursuing, receiving, and ensuring worthiness — love worthiness. Nine organizing temperamental make-ups do all this heavy lifting for us as each tracks our experiences, defends against threat, props us up to make us worthy, and formulates ways to make sense of the mountains of temperament-driven interpreted data, emotional transactions, and experiences — good and bad — that come to define how we see the world and our place in it.

This is the Enneagram system of personalities and this is what it teaches us. Learning it opens up a vastly divine perspective of self and others that is compassionate, de-shaming, others-appreciating and self-loving.

Let’s get started!

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ENNEAGRAM TYPES at a glance

There are nine fundamental Enneagram “personality structures.”

Each of the nine Enneagram “personality structures” — organizing temperaments — is designed, first and foremost, for survival: the survival of the self-system — our sense of self, our physical selves too — of course, and collectively, our personalities are designed for the survival of the human species as a whole. Each of these personality structures is gifted with aptitudes, an organizing belief system, and a way of focusing attention that not only comes naturally but is evolutionarily contributory. Each has a sense of its value and potential worthiness, and each has its own way of defending, protecting, and self-regulating.

“So, what type — personality structure — am I,” you might be asking? Each of these “structures” resources particular inherent gifts, which is what it’ll readily strive to both bring to the world and find in the world. And on the flip side, each one firmly believes there’s “something” it cannot ever allow itself to be. That “something” is not an option. See which of these nine personality structures might call to you — might reflect you — the most:

8
THE BOSS | THE CHALLENGER: Type 8s are exuberance-fueled, all-in, bring-it-on people that know they matter because they exist. Type 8s are staunch purveyors of the truth, of justice, of getting on with it and calling a spade a spade. Directness is given and expected. Fiercely loyal to those they hold dear, 8s possess an innocence that's heartfelt, present-moment, and as such, is deeply guarded. Trusting comes easy as a result, and the pain of trust's betrayal, of not being held and protected as they do for others, cuts deeply. Weakness is not an option.
9
THE MEDIATOR | THE PEACEMAKER Type 9s are harmonizing peacemakers and conflict-diffusers. Type 9s are the exemplars of the “live and let live” mantra. Seemingly agenda-less and non-differentiating, Type 9s have an aptitude for aligning non-conflictually with others in a way that fosters a sense of acceptance and emotional safety. Type 9s can see all sides of a situation and make great mediators. Being difficult for others is not an option.
1
THE PERFECTIONIST | REFORMER Type 1s are standard-makers and structure wizards. Type 1s strive for “betterment,” holding the bar high for themselves and all others, and the world at large as well. As the bar is achieved, it's moved a notch higher. There is no rest. Type 1s are tenacious, exemplars of goodness and fairness, and most often emotionally measured. The improvement-junkies of the Enneagram, getting above condemnation is the oasis. Lacking integrity (by not abiding one’s own moral code) is not an option.
2
THE GIVER | THE HELPER Type 2s are generosity exemplars and the caring, giving people we all depend on and appreciate. Type 2s strive to meet the needs of others and do so without having to be asked. Type 2s have a knack for soothing others and nurturance tends to come naturally. Sensitive to not being appreciated after all that they do, they secretly hope their own needs might be met in the same way, by others, somehow. Perhaps that will happen if they just give more. “Selfishness” is not an option.
3
THE PERFORMER | THE ACHIEVER: Type 3s are achievement-mavens and success-pursuers, however that may have been formulated in the eyes and developing self-image of a given Type 3. Type 3s come imbued with “I can do it” and they do, as setting a goal, hitting the target, and attaining the desired result and the corresponding recognition is what life is all about. Competitive and tenacious, 3s can compartmentalize their own feelings in lieu of the goal set. Failure as well as inefficiency is not an option.
4
THE ROMANTIC | THE INDIVIDUALIST: Type 4s are meaning-makers and emotional journeyers. Type 4s are uniquely “something” memorable, feeling into the highs and lows of the emotional side of life, they are drawn to the beauty and sorrows of the world with depth, care, and rebellion — with equal fervor. Type 4s strive for interpersonal authenticity and are drawn to that which others miss, overlook, or don't understand deeply enough. Disappointment is a friend. Mediocrity is not an option.
5
THE OBSERVER | THE INVESTIGATOR Type 5s are the wisdom keepers and knowledge accumulators of the tribe. Type 5s are inquisitive, exhaustingly curious, insightful and consistently postulating. For a 5, the mind is a sanctuary and getting to spend time there is cherished, coveted, and soothing. Type 5s are measured, private, and esoterically inclined, with their inner world being even more enticing than their outer life. Intellectual impotence is not an option.
6
THE LOYAL SKEPTIC | THE TROUBLESHOOTER Type 6s are the prevention and preparedness specialists. Type 6s are vigilant, persistent, and industrious, with a near 6th sense for sussing out danger and potential pitfalls, and then the rigor for working backwards to get control of the uncertain and unknown. Types 6s strive to bring loyalty, trust, and dependability to the world, that which they cannot seem to find for themselves and doubt readily. Being unprepared and caught off guard is not an option.
7
THE EPICURE | THE ENTHUSIAST: Type 7s are joy purveyors and positive-options seekers. Type 7s are electric, stimulating, quick-witted and ideas-synthesizers — even visionaries. Type 7s bring an optimistic spin to life and its many challenges. Obstacles are things you jump over. Desires are meant to be pursued. Life is meant to be lived, enjoyed, and adventured, why expect less? Boredom as well as “getting stuck” is not an option.